


Lucky Charm Chris

by ehhlliie



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Crush at First Sight, Drabble, I Tried, M/M, Stupid Viktor, To Be Funny, Yuuri is done with their shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 13:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15389457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehhlliie/pseuds/ehhlliie
Summary: It's two in the morning and like other normal adults, Chris and Viktor are fighting in their dorm hallway over stolen Lucky Charm marshmallows.orChris was hungry.Viktor wants Yuuri's number.And Yuuri just wants them to shut up.





	Lucky Charm Chris

Viktor stares at his friend. 

No. He’s no longer his friend. He feels so _betrayed._ All these years of friendship, of laughs and fun and this is what he gets in return.

He’s fucking _done._

“What the _fuck_ do you mean you ate my fucking Lucky Charms?”

“I’m _sorry_ okay but I was hungry and there was nothing left to eat except three-week expired pudding!”

“You could have ordered pizza or something!” Viktor throws his arms in the air. “How _dare_ you!”

Chris narrows his eyes. “I was starving, okay? Anyway, it was _your_ turn to buy the groceries this week. I _specifically_ told you to buy ham but no. Can you imagine? I come back from an exhausting two hours of class, excited to make myself a nice sandwich, full of wholesome processed saturated fat goodness, but no. You only got food that _you_ liked. Selfish prick.” 

“Are you gaslighting me now?” Viktor folds his arms across his chest. “And if you were really _that_ hungry, you wouldn’t have just picked out the fucking marshmallows! You’re a monster!”

“The actual cereal tastes like cat litter.”

“And you leave that for me?” Viktor yells. “Wow never knew _Caring and Considerate_ was your middle name.”

Viktor likes to think that both him and Chris are capable of being considerate, mature adults. But expectations don’t always live up to reality. It’s 2am. They’re standing outside their dorm, in the middle of the hallway fighting over cereal. Viktor would be a little more ashamed of himself but it’s _Lucky Charms_ and he _loves_ Lucky Charms.

“I’ll buy you a new one okay! I’m sorry!” Chris shouts again. “But you ate my bananas last week and I didn't say anything!”

“Fuck those were _my_ bananas!” Viktor hisses. “And you don’t get to touch _any_ food that half resembles a dick, you horny fuck. Not anymore.”

“Fuck I was drunk as hell and that was _one time._ ” Chris groans and holds up his hands. “In my defence, it was dark and the cucumber really was about the same size as Masumi.”

“I don’t need to know about the size of your boyfriend’s dick!”

Chris scoffs. “It’s bigger than you at least.”

Viktor rolls his eyes. “I’m a good eight inches.”

“You sure you got that measurement type correct? There was once I used degree instead of radian for my middle school math exam and all the angles turned out a lot bigger than they were supposed to.”

“This argument is more ridiculous than that time about Glasses.”

“I’m glad you know because Viktor Mikhail Nikiforov you are ridiculous as fuck. You danced with _one person_ that night. Just one. But you still couldn't get a number? You’re such a fucking pussy!”

Viktor sighs loudly. “It’s not as if I didn't want it! But his friend dragged him away. What was I supposed to do?”

His friend gives him an exaggerated eye roll. “Chase after him? I lost ten bucks to JJ cos of you! And I've just had had enough of you going on and on about _auburn eyes and freckled cheeks and pink lips_ because I'm pretty sure I don't have Shakespeare saved anywhere in my contacts list.”

“Excuse you he really is gorgeous okay. And the club was fucking _packed_. I couldn’t move. You saw me!”

“Excuses.” Chris huffs. “Go ahead and simmer in your soup of sadness.”

“I _am_ sad! You know how desperate I am. I let the potential love of my life walk away just like that!” Viktor balls his fists. “He’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen on campus and it's been a week but I still don’t know his name or his number or how he likes his eggs or _anything_ and Chris oh my God I’m going to die how am I going to marry him at this rate?”

“Yes you’d make beautiful babies.” Chris taps his chin. “But don’t you dare drop that _How do you like your eggs? Fried, poached or fertilised_ pick-up line on him. I’ve raised you better than this, child.”

“Yeah but _You like sleeping? Great let’s do it together some time_ is good?” Viktor throws his head back exasperatedly. “I pity Masumi so much.”

“At least I get dick.” Chris scrunches up his nose. “You didn't even get a _name.”_

_“Oh my _God let me change rooms please I-”__

There’s the sound of a door _slamming_ against the wall and both Viktor and Chris turn to stare. Standing before them is a sleep-tousled tuft of dark hair, thick blue-framed glasses which do little to conceal those dark, dark eye bags which Viktor vehemently disapproves of, and an aura that screams bloody murder.

“Can you guys shut the _fuck_ up?” A small voice seethes and Viktor’s skin prickles. He looks over at Chris, throwing him nervous glances as the man glares up at them, eyes hidden behind his fringe.

He jabs a slim finger at Chris. “You. Buy him a new box of cereal. And that pick-up line is horrible. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Then he turns to Viktor. He looks up and his bangs brush off his face and _oh._ Viktor gasps loudly. It’s familiar auburn eyes with gold flecks and freckled cheeks and pink lips and _OH OH MY GOD IT’S -_

“You. Lucky Charms _suck._ ” Then he takes a step forward and roughly shoves a piece of paper into Viktor’s palm.

“My number. And my name is Katsuki Yuuri. I end class after fifth period at ENG102 today.”

Yuuri (sweet Jesus YES FINALLY) ducks behind his door, and is about to retreat into his room when he pauses and pokes his head out.

“I like scrambled eggs the best.”

Without another word, the door is slammed shut again and Viktor stands there, stunned and speechless because what the fuck just happened. But he’s happy. Really _fucking_ happy. 

Chris is the first to break the cricket-chirp-filled silence.

“You see. If I didn't eat your Lucky Charms, none of this would have happened. You’re welcome.”

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes i try (very ~~too~~ hard) to be funny and this is one of those attempts i am so sorry but i just had to write this let me indulge myself sometimes


End file.
